my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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