how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
