I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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