Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
