I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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