come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
