Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Is it penis luge time yet?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
