those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We named our party play list daddy issues
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
