i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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