i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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