Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
