He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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