she was so not down for the gang bang
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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