i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
