How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
organizing the empties. That sober.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
