U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
