Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
