I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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