the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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