i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
