the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
