Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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