So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
