I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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