You smell like stripper and shame
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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