i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Terrible idea I love it
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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