my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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