Don't make out with my wife yet
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
