Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
What a dumb baby whore.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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