I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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