In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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