that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
