me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
