I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
