my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
