nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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