dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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