At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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