You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
