it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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