hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
