i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
