im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
