Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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