DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
