Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Too much gin, very little bucket
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
