I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
