I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
