shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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