You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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